The Blog and the Shower

My friend Leah has made extended visits to Oaxaca several times, most recently this summer. She sent back a few emails written with a Jean Genet-like attention to visual detail and some candid reflections on a dilemma that dogs some of us guilty children of the white middle class: in trying to “make a difference” in the world, do we inadvertently make things worse? Does our work benefit anyone else as much as it benefits us? Is it right to take more of an interest in struggles that take place halfway around the world when there are struggles just as desperate within our own country?

Leah wrote:

“Earlier that day, I had gone to a meeting at UniTierra of the Guerreros sin armas – Warriors without weapons. I had considered applying to this program when I first thought about returning to Oaxaca, but did not, for fear (rightly so, I think) that my Spanish would not be good enough. Fluency in Spanish is a requirement. Anyhow, this gathering of young people included people from various parts of Oaxaca, Brazil, Guatemala, Europe, and the United States. They came to do a month long project benefiting one of Oaxaca’s communities whose problems are thought endemic throughout the state.

The young people were bright, energetic activists, all in their twenties. They were located in a neighborhood on the outskirts of Oaxaca City called Colonia Diamante. A couple leaders from the community made commentary about how their community suffered and how nice it was to have these people around.

This particular meeting was to decide what the group would do as a larger community action the next week. Anyone interested was invited to participate.

Mind you, my mood was damper than normal, but I felt unsure what to think of it.

It strikes me as a project which will deeply impact the young people but may have a more ephemeral impact on the colonia residents. How do you measure transformation over the period of a month? Routines are rarely changed without a concerted effort to be the agent of change.

I also had an unfortunate conversation with George Salzman, an old New York anarchist who lives with his compañera, Nancy Davies, here in Oaxaca (they write for NarcoNews). We spoke in Spanish (although I was struck by how fragmented his Spanish was for a Oaxaca reporter). George’s cynicism did not improve my disposition.

His summary based on a series of assumptions: the young people here are people of privilege. You [Leah], too, are a person of privilege. Access to a program like this is a product of privilege. Traveling across the world is very bad for the environment – you probably don’t think about this given your privilege – you should not be here. If we are going to work to change the system, we should not exercise rights which other people are not subject too.

Often after meetings at UniTierra (an alternative education institution) I do have my skeptical thoughts:

Where do I fit into this? I sit quietly, at the table, straining to listen, at times my attention waning. I want so badly to have a stake in these issues. I do not want to be just another tourist for whom other people’s struggles are an added entree at the table.”